Tag: support

I’m Rubber, You’re Gluten

I have been through enough break ups this year to last me a life time.

First, it was dairy. Second, it was gluten.  Third, it was the boy.  And now, well now it’s gluten…again.

ryan gosling gf.jpg

You know how sometimes you get back with an ex and your friends give you a ton of shit for it?  That’s basically what happened with my doctor when he found out that I’d returned to gluten.  (But the bread was just So0o0o0o amazing and we all know that it’s really hard to say no to amazing bread…)

Maybe a little back story is necessary –

I have had a long history of health issues that doctors seemed determined to dismiss, some being so bold as to tell me “I don’t know [what that is] but good luck with that.”  Understandably, I developed an aversion to doctors.  Finally, way back in June of 2015, I broke, went to an allergist and had a bunch of blood tests done, including a Celiac Panel.  Shortly thereafter I ran away to Jamaica where I ate exclusively bread and pasta and gained at least 5lbs in bloat and discomfort.  It was super.  (Actually, Jamaica is really amazing, the “super” sarcasm should be applied only to the bloat and discomfort).  Mere hours on home soil and I was then back in the doctor’s office getting the results of my blood work.  The doctor came in and rather bluntly told me “So, it looks like you have Celiac Disease.  On the upside, you’ll be thin for the rest of your life.”

THANKS FOR THE PERSPECTIVE.

It didn’t make sense.  I’m Italian.  Bread and pasta are my life.  How could I possibly have Celiac Disease?  My IgA numbers were above average but lower than most Celiacs. Something’s not right.  Jeeze, I’m even below average as a Celiac.  Pitiful.

Step 1. Denial.

Actually, I didn’t get very far past the denial stage, to be honest.  I did my best to eat gluten free for about a month or so (and even then, I kept screwing it up- How was I supposed to know that a California Roll had gluten in it?  WHO SAW THAT COMING??)

I knew that I needed a biopsy to confirm the Celiac Disease but by that time, I had lost my insurance coverage.  So naturally, I deemed myself healthy and told myself it was silly to be on a gluten free diet.  My numbers were low, I couldn’t possibly be a real Celiac (this sentiment was confirmed by real Celiac sufferers).

I’ve been back on gluten for a few months and feeling beyond miserable.  I explained away my struggles because I’d heard so many complaints from Celiac sufferers that gluten intolerance is not real.  There are articles upon articles claiming that it’s just a fad diet, that gluten intolerance is just a scam.  Yet there are others claiming that gluten intolerance DOES exist; the Celiac Foundation included.  Somehow, I still felt like a fraud; like I was just crying wolf.

gene wilder gf.jpg

I looked for other reasons.  I blamed it on my thyroid.  Maybe that was causing all of my symptoms (CD and hypothyroidism can have similar symptoms).  In January, I was able to attain insurance coverage and decided to go all out and test for EVERYTHING.  (Hypochondriac style!  Rock on).  I found a great gastroenterologist and got the endoscopy that I should have gotten months earlier.  I found a PCP and asked her to run a million tests, including TSH and T4.

That long-winded explanation brings us to today.  –

I met with my doctors again to review my results.  Apparently, my thyroid and hormone levels are perfect. (Okay, ruled that out.)  I don’t have Celiac Disease (Okay, that’s out..) but my doctor seemed uncomfortable ruling it out entirely. (Just kidding?)

Fun facts: I carry the Celiac gene.  I’m at “moderate risk” for developing CD.  I show signs of reflux.  All of my symptoms can be a result of CD.

What does all of that mean?  “I can’t say for sure that you do have Celiac Disease.  Biopsies aren’t always a perfect indicator.  It may just be a gluten sensitivity.  I’d like to treat it as if you do have Celiac disease.  I think you should go on a completely gluten free diet and see if it makes a difference.”  (I’m paraphrasing because my memory is horrific and my doctor lingo is not so hot but that was certainly the general jist).

Once again, I feel like I hack.  I can’t even be a GOOD Celiac?!  Does gluten sensitivity/intolerance exist?  If it does, can everyone stop making me feel bad about it?  My doctors seem to think it exists.  Maybe my insides aren’t dying a slow death when they come in contact with gluten but they certainly aren’t welcoming it with open arms(tubes?).

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It’s hard enough knowing that I have to give up my favorite foods.  MY COMFORT FOODS. But to be shamed for it on top of everything?  I don’t mind the stigma so much as I am genuinely confused as to what’s happening.

So here I am, at 10 o’clock at night, drinking my tea and snacking on gluten free fruit roll ups (because #adulthood) feeling very confused.  And bloated.  And cranky.  And bloated.

Good lord I hope the bloating, the confusion and the crankiness tag along with the gluten.  I will happily say farewell if so.

I know that this is one of my whinier posts but if there is anyone else out there struggling with celiac, gluten intolerance/sensitity, confusion- feel free to reach out!

If you think you might have CD or a Gluten Intolerance, please see a doctor that you trust. Check out the links below for some more info.

 

Non-Celiac Gluten Sensitivity

https://celiac.org

 

 

My Long Awaited Return…

It has been too long since I have taken the time to sit down and write. For that, I humbly apologize.  I would like to convince myself that I had good reason to take the time off but perhaps that is just an excuse to pardon my being remiss.

My return to the blogosphere may not be the most entertaining blog that I have yet to produce but it is very important.  I have decided to begin a new venture and with that, I will be needing the support of all of you.  I am a master procrastinator and while I prefer to look at this as something of a talent, I will need the encouragement from friends and family to suppress this talent and get to work.  Are you ready to help keep me happy, motivated, and positive?!?!  ARE YOU WITH ME?!?!?!  I can’t hear you!!!!!!!

Or see you for that matter, so I’m just going to pretend that you all said yes.  Good, now that we’ve cleared that up I can tell you what this venture of mine will be!  Let me first start off by saying that I am well aware that I have said many a time that I want to do this and I want to do that, and I never seem to get around to it.  This isn’t like that.  I often tell myself that I am going to do something in the hopes that hearing the words aloud will inspire me.  Often, I am very, very wrong.  When I feel something within me screaming that something needs to be done, well…now shit’s serious.  It is a little hard to explain and maybe some of you don’t believe in intuition or “feelings” but I do.  My soul is telling me that it is time to quit putzing around and get working.

A movie.  This is my new venture.  I would like to create and produce a feature-length movie from start to finish.  I am taking it very seriously this time.  The idea is becoming more and more real to me with every breath I take.  I have invested in numerous screenwriting books as I attempt to teach myself a method that will work for me as I plan to write my very own feature.  Yes, sometimes it is difficult to keep the faith , but for this new project, keeping the faith is my only option.  If I can feel it deep within me, I have no choice but to believe that this is what I am meant to do.

A few of my good friends know that I harbor aspirations of becoming the next Tina Fey or Woody Allen.  For those of you who don’t understand, this means that I would love to write my own works, hopefully quirky like Tina Fey, and then shove myself in a leading role, a la Woody Allen.  As for this film,  I have made no casting decisions as of yet.  I plan to write a character driven movie and once those characters become more clear, I will begin to think about casting choices.  As for a crew, I do have a few people in mind that I would love to work with but again, I am thinking too far ahead.  (But everyone keep your fingers crossed that I will get to work with my idols!)

This is more than a labor of love for me.  I’ve been going through a bit of a difficult time and I remember being so happy when I made my first movie (It’s posted in my first blog…check it out if you’re looking for a good giggle.)  It’s not that I want to make this movie; it’s that I need to.  I make no secret of the fact that I am unhappy with the way my first movie panned out.  I loved the people I worked with more than anything and I would never want to cast doubt on their abilities.  Everyone involved did a fantastic job and the movie is still quite enjoyable.  The only problem was that it wasn’t what I had envisioned.  This time around, I will be taking more care to ensure that my vision is what you see on that screen.

I will continue to blog about nonsense with a few posts about my progress along the way.  I hope to keep you entertained and just as excited as I am for this new step in my life.

So Support Team… let’s get crackin’!