Preaching Progress

Credit to @revelatori for the drawing! (www.revelatori.com) I can really relate to this. It’s not always easy to align what we believe with what we do. We are human, we slip, we make mistakes. It happens ALL the time and that’s okay. We pick ourselves up, we learn and we do better tomorrow. I admit, I am guilty of being irrationally hard on myself for simple little mistakes and sometimes for the quirks that make me, me. I look at all of these posts on social media and see beautiful people, fit people, rich people, happy people and sometimes, I compare myself. “Why don’t I look like her?” “I wish I were as successful as she is.” “I wish I could do that!” I would never tell a friend to compare them self to anyone else. So why is it okay when I do it myself? I am reminded not to compare my ‘behind the scenes’ to their ‘highlight reel.’ I am working towards becoming the person that I want to be and that takes time and patience (not yet a virtue of mine). I see a therapist because mental health is just as important as physical health. I honestly believe that everyone could benefit from some time in therapy. Why are we so afraid of that word? Let’s eradicate the stigma because in this world of social media and false representation, too many of us fall into this trap of comparing. We are creating a culture of constant insecurity and implied inadequacy. You are wonderful. My pictures, his pictures, her pictures…they don’t matter. You don’t know what led to those photos. Be careful of what it is that you envy. Take the time to discover who you are and grow into the best version of yourself. I will be doing the same.

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New Year, Same Me

The New Year is fast approaching and you know me, I’m not one to miss a chance to post about a clichéd, yet nuanced  tradition!

But I’m going to give it to you straight, I don’t plan on becoming a “New Me” for the new year.  I am in a constant state of transition.  Every day I become a new me. Don’t you?

Every day a new thought pops into my head.  Half the time they are absolutely ridiculous like, “If the Sanderson sisters had been dead for 300 years, how did they know exactly how to use a microphone for their epic ‘I Put a Spell On You’ dance number?” or “Italian sounds so much prettier than English- an Italian man could spend an hour describing a carrot to me and I will have already accepted his proposal, married him, and had his child in in my head in that time.”  But you know, those are just the thoughts that keep me sane and giggling to myself in a corner.  (That’s the definition of sane, right?)

In addition to those Einstein level realizations, I do have the occasional meaningful thought.  One day I thought, “I want to help promote independent film and encourage aspiring film-makers to follow their dreams.”  Want to know what happened?  I created a successful film festival.  And it’s great.  (Rahway International Film Festival– check it out.)

My point is, every day will bring you new ideas and no one says that you have to wait until January 1st to make a move.  (If they do, stop talking to them.  You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.)

I will always be “me.”  I am both the same and new.  Every day brings something new- new lessons, new ideas, new plans, new skin cells…all that jazz.  My values remain the same, my morals remain the same even as my hopes and dreams evolve.

Start today, start tomorrow, start in March, who cares.  Start when you are ready to make a change.  You don’t need to reinvent yourself for the new year.  You should accept who you are and do everything in your power to become the best version of yourself that you can be – starting on any day that you damn well please.

 

Reviewing “50/50”

Damn you, Dine-In theater and your villainous combination of tequila and movies!  You have led me to yet another drunken blog post!  But that’s ok, I will forgive due to your wonderful combination of tequila and movies!

This post may not be that long because I may very well pass out while writing it.  No, I’m not that drunk…I just get very sleepy after a few margaritas… or one.  (I have painfully pitiful tolerance).  Anyway, I wanted to sit (lay) down and write a quick blog about my thoughts on “50/50,” starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen.

My thoughts:  Pleasantly surprised.

Ok, end of blog now.  Night night!!

Just kidding.  I would highly recommend this movie to anyone interested in seeing a true reflection of life.  Many people can’t sit in a theater and watch a movie that’s “just too real”, myself being one of them but this movie does a brilliant job of keeping you alert and laughing even when dealing with the all-too-real reality of Cancer.  Cancer is difficult for those struggling with the disease and for family and friends who travel that path with them but not every moment is drenched in sadness.  “50/50” allows its audience a small glimpse into the life of one man afflicted with this awful disease and just how he was able to cope through humor.

I won’t pretend to know what it is like to live this struggle and those who have lived it may disagree with me.  As a matter of fact, I would be interested to know their thoughts.  Yet as an outsider, I truly enjoyed every moment of this film.  I laughed; I cried and I didn’t come out of the theater saying “Why did I spend money on this piece of shit?”  That last part is big, man.  Freakin’ huge.  Do you know how many times I feel like I have been personally robbed after going to the movies?  The fact that I didn’t walk out of the theater feeling like the victim of a brutal mugging this time only helps prove my point.

Side-yet very important-note:  Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a fantastic actor and always does a good job of portraying troubled characters.  Huge crush.  Huge.  Love him.  (Oops… in vino veritas?)

Adding one more star to its rating, (assuming I was using some kind of a rating system) is the fact that this movie ties into my latest fixation quite well.  As my last post would suggest, Steve Jobs and the idea of using death as a form of motivation have become something of an obsession.  Watching this man come to terms with his own mortality has pushed me even further in the direction of following my dreams.  A movie that doubles as inspiration?  Score!  I don’t mean to imply that the movie will have this same effect on all who watch it but I wouldn’t rule it out either.  I stand by my recommendation and I hope that this movie can do for you what it has done for me, or at the very least, I hope you don’t feel that you wasted $15 for another bomb.

Best wishes!  And again, apologies for any incoherency due to inebriation.  I’m hittin’ the sack.  Good night!

Thank you, Steve Jobs.

Today has been an exceptionally hard day, what with my own personal troubles and then the untimely death of Steve Jobs.  It has been emotionally draining.  Sarcasm aside, this man’s death really has affected me.  I knew very little about him.  I hadn’t followed his success or paid much attention to him before today, honestly.  I didn’t know that he had died until the numerous posts on Facebook alerted me to the situation.  My initial reaction was sorrow for his family and friends who have lost a good man but other than that, he was just a celebrity passing; until I read this in a friend’s status:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

This one little quote brought tears to my eyes.  As one of many caught in this post-college, economic collapse, I have been feeling uninspired and hopeless as of late.  This one quote inspired me at a level that I have not felt in a long time.  It comes from a speech given by Jobs at the Stanford Commencement in 2005.  Had I only attended Standford instead of Rutgers and graduated a mere four years earlier, I would have been present for what I believe to be a truly amazing and heartfelt speech.  Perhaps then I would have followed my dreams instead of accepting positions out of fear rather than love.

I am now two years removed from college and as I have stated in previous posts, post-graduate life is not what I had expected it to be.  Hosting; waitressing; sitting behind a desk, lying to people for a living.  Not one of these things gave me an ounce of respect.  As a matter of fact, they were slowly draining me of any pride I may have had lingering after receiving the almighty diploma.  But in the three-second window that it took me to read that quote from Steve Jobs, I immediately felt hope again; a fleeting thought, but there it was.  Still inside me somewhere!  Thank the lord!  And thank you, Steve Jobs for re-igniting a spark in me that has been dormant for far too long.

After some further Facebook stalking, I found the quote that preceded the one above; which led me to cry a bit more.  Actually, let’s face it, I haven’t been honest.  I didn’t cry.  I sobbed.  Profusely.  I have never read something so jarring and yet wonderfully eloquent.

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you w…ill gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.”- Steve Jobs

God bless you, Steve Jobs for coming out and saying what so many cannot admit.  “Even people who want to go to heaven, don’t want to die to get there.”  Who does not fear death?  But to use it as a fuel, to push yourself further in this life?  Now, that is genius.  I know the old adage, “Live every day as if it were your last.”  Yes, I have heard it and I will not give Steve Jobs credit for yet another novel idea; Apple and Pixar are accomplishments enough.  BUT it was not until I read it the way Steve Jobs had explained, that the saying truly held meaning for me.  Blame my naiveté or my unwillingness to see it until now, but the fact remains that for me, Steve Jobs gave that statement meaning.  I hope to live my life by these sentiments.

In the future, I hope to be as bold and as daring as the man who changed the world.  The world will only be changed by those with the courage to get up and do something about it.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again, do NOT settle for less than you are worth.  Do NOT settle for a life that leaves you unhappy.  Fight for what you deserve!  If your job isn’t paying you enough, get off your ass and do something about it.  Find a new job, maybe one that makes you happier.  Demand a raise.  Lead a strike.  Do whatever it takes to make yourself heard.  There are so many protests going on in this country, for numerous different reasons: end the famine, restore the economy, stop the war.  Join a cause or start your own but please don’t let yourself become stagnant.  Don’t permit the problems in this world to bring you down.  I’ve allowed it, hell I still allow it but after taking fifteen minutes to watch the Stanford Commencement speech, I no longer want to be the girl who never stood up for her rights; the girl who let the world pass her by.

Thank you, Steve Jobs for helping me find this moment of clarity.  Your legacy will live on for years to come.  May your family find comfort in the lives that you were able to change in your short time on this earth.  May you rest in peace, sir.

“Again, you can’t connect the dots looking foward.  You can only connect them looking backwards.  So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.  You have to trust in something; your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.  Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path and that will make all the difference.”- Steve Jobs