Tag: Glee

Que lastima, Glee- Spoilers Ahead

Que lastima, Glee.  Que lastima.

I haven’t been this disappointed in Glee in quite some time.  I’ve been waiting for Ryan Murphy to capitalize on the show’s huge Hispanic fan-base since the latter half of the first season.  What happened tonight was not merely a poorly executed episode, but a lost opportunity to expose Glee fans to true latin music.  Taking American music and swapping out some lyrics for Spanish, does not Latin music make.  I mean…Madonna?  Elvis?  LMFAO? (Although I will let this one slide because Ricky Martin rocked that song!)  But, really?  The plot was weak and the message seemed a last-ditch effort to save the flop they must have known they were producing.  They could have taken the episode in a completely different direction (plot-wise) with a much more positive outcome and for heaven’s sake, better music.

As a latina, I took offense to this episode; not in the grandiose sense that they have given our culture a bad name but rather, they chose to completely avoid introducing their fans to true Latin music.  Ricky Martin was a feeble attempt to make the episode authentic.  I’ve been in love with Ricky Martin since I was about 13 years old and while I believe that he gave an excellent performance, not even he could save this episode.  I’m not saying that I expected all-out Spanish language songs that an American audience would never be able to relate to but are the writers of Glee so out of touch with pop music that they failed to recognize the numerous crossover artists that exist today?  Or the bi-lingual songs that still exist?  The closest they came to giving their audience some real Spanish music was in the song, Bamboleo/Hero. And while I appreciated Mercedes’ version of Gloria Estefan’s “Don’t Wanna Lose You,” the song was geared towards American audiences even in 1989.  Perhaps it was that these were the only artists who would allow their music to be covered by Glee.  Shame on all of you Latin artists out there, if that is the case!

You have people like Pitbull, Shakira, JLo and Marc Anthony for god’s sake!  Don’t pretend you didn’t have mainstream options, Glee!  And how about American artists who paired with Latin artists?  Alicia Keys performed “Looking for Paradise” with Alejandro Sanz, a rather beautiful song I might add.  Usher just released a single paring up with the King of Bachata, Romeo Santos, “Promise Me”.  Or better yet, dual-language songs like Christina Aguilera’s “Infatuation” or Prince Royce’s “Stand By Me (Bachata).”  I could write a better episode with the songs/artists mentioned above right now.  Why don’t I give it a go?

Actually, how about an outline?  It’s 1am and I have work tomorrow.  Dialogue would just take too long at this point.  (I’m going very basic here and just listing what songs could tie into certain plot points.  Again, I’m tired.  If you like the idea, let me know and I will actually take the time to write a spec script for you.)

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Marc Anthony- “My Baby You”- This could easily tie into Rachel and Finn’s newly established engagement. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3jzinThGoc

Christina Aguilera- “Infatuation”- Everyone in that classroom, men and women alike, had a crush on Ricky Martin…may as well sing a song about that lust and attraction (towards a Boricua no less!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2FxmKjNo8k&feature=related

Alicia Keys & Alejandro Sanz- “Looking for Paradise”- This is such a beautiful song about finding happiness.  This could really relate to anyone in the Glee club because each and everyone of them is struggling with one angsty issue or another.  Everyone can relate to this song, characters and audience.  We all want to find a place where we belong. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIg7Bo_g-dA

Pitbull- “I know You Want Me”-  You could pretty much throw in any Pitbull song and I’m pretty sure it would work.  It gives you that taste of reggaeton/rap that some people like.  For this song in particular, I could see Puck trying to get this message across.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2tMV96xULk&ob=av2e

Carlos Santana- “Smooth”-  How can you leave out Santana??  Sam could have sung this song to Mercedes and it would have served to show his feelings towards her, but I can’t hate on his version of Hero.  So I don’t mind if we leave that one in there.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXp413NynFk&feature=related

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Santana’s insightful monologue that lead to the climax of the episode did indeed hit the nail on the head, but couldn’t we have started with that realization after Mr. Shu’s awful rendition of La Cucaracha?  Then we could have continued the episode with music by true Spanish artists.  Why did we have to suffer through such lackluster, no-spice music?

On a lighter note, I was pleasantly surprised with how well everyone handled singing in Spanish.  Except of course for Santana, ironically enough, who makes me cringe ever time she opens her boca (mouth).  As the girl who is so adamant about correctly representing latin culture, she struggles with each Spanish word.  I don’t mean to bash the actress at all.  I happen to like Naya Rivera as Santana and I accept that she is the token hot-blooded latina but I just can’t take her seriously with that accent.

Perhaps that was enough Glee bashing for the night.  I love this show and I think the risks they take are fantastic and boundary breaking, but why couldn’t they take a risk and show America how great latin music really is?  I find it insulting that the best they could do was choose American music and add some Spanish words.  Latin music is so easy to find yourself getting lost in.  There is so much more to us than just Pitbull and Shakira!

P.S-  Who else thought it was ludicrous that Mr. Shu is just now learning Spanish?  That was just too dumb to be funny.  Okay, I’m sorry, that was my last jab. Tonight’s episode just really irked me.  I could go on forever but as it is, I’m going to fall asleep at work tomorrow.

Buenas noches a todos!

False Celebrity

The oh so sexy Me.

Don’t you just hate seeing pictures of yourself plastered all over the news, in magazines and on the internet?  And all of the gossip they talk about you??  I mean, I didn’t even notice the paparazzi!  Come to think of it, I don’t remember posing for Vogue either…

The ever talented, Lea Michele.

Oh wait, that’s Lea Michele, not me.  Silly girl.

     Aside from a very “distinguished” nose, I just can’t see the likeness! (Important Side Note– There is no appropriate way to tell me that I have a big nose.  I’ve heard it all and it’s insulting every time.  Out of all of these insults, I have chosen “distinguished” as the least likely to get you punched in the face).  You would be surprised at how many people tell me, “You look just like that girl from Glee!”  I choose to take it as a compliment whether it’s meant as one or not, but I can’t help over-analyze this celebrity look-a-like phenomenon.  (I over-analyze everything, so of course I would analyze something so petty.  That’s just how I roll.  Go with it or go google something more important, like the mating ritual of a mandrill.)

     Back when I was waitressing,  a whole year and a half ago, patrons would walk in and ask if the “Glee girl” could be their server.  This happened at least twice a month.  Once, I even got, “You sure you’re not the Glee girl?”  Sir, you are a genius.  How could I hide it from you?  I, Lea Michele, have decided to stay based in New Jersey, waiting tables at your local sports bar, because honestly, my dream job and millions of dollars just aren’t fulfilling enough.  You caught me!  Now, would you like steak fries or waffle fries with your burger?

     Will I forever be a poor man’s Lea Michele?  I can’t sing, I can’t dance, and I can’t act.  Well okay, I haven’t completely accepted the fact that I can’t act yet so let me just hang onto that pipe dream for a bit longer.  Let’s say, just for kicks, that I become famous one day; I will forever be “the girl who looks a little like Lea Michele.  What’s her name again?  You know, the one from Glee!  Oh no, that was Lea Michele too.”  Malin Akerman, I feel your pain; always having to compete with Cameron Diaz.  Poor girl.

     Perhaps one day this gift or (curse?) will come in handy.  I may decide to drastically change my lifestyle and try sneaking into an incredibly exclusive restaurant BUT I won’t have to sneak because I will pass myself off as Lea Michele, or Idina Menzel, or Vanessa Lengies, or one of the other ladies I supposedly look like.  There are tons of shows using that same plot line on TV right now!  Illegal you say?  Damn you television, polluting my brain with nonsense!  Oh well.  It’s official; it’s a curse.  I will forever be a poor man’s Lea Michele.

     OR, as a last-ditch effort, I can start a youtube campaign to put me on ‘Glee’ as Rachel’s long-lost sister!  Who’s with me?!  That thing about me not being able to sing or dance…that was a…lie?  Yeah…let’s go with that!

Phooey, perhaps a love letter to Ryan Murphy is in order.