I can really relate to this. It’s not always easy to align what we believe with what we do. We are human, we slip, we make mistakes. It happens ALL the time and that’s okay. We pick ourselves up, we learn and we do better tomorrow.
I admit, I am guilty of being irrationally hard on myself for simple little mistakes and sometimes for the quirks that make me, me.
I look at all of these posts on social media and see beautiful people, fit people, rich people, happy people and sometimes, I compare myself.
“Why don’t I look like her?”
“I wish I were as successful as she is.”
“I wish I could do that!”
I would never tell a friend to compare them self to anyone else. So why is it okay when I do it myself? I am reminded not to compare my ‘behind the scenes’ to their ‘highlight reel.’
I am working towards becoming the person that I want to be and that takes time and patience (not yet a virtue of mine). I see a therapist because mental health is just as important as physical health. I honestly believe that everyone could benefit from some time in therapy.
Why are we so afraid of that word? Let’s eradicate the stigma because in this world of social media and false representation, too many of us fall into this trap of comparing. We are creating a culture of constant insecurity and implied inadequacy.
You are wonderful. My pictures, his pictures, her pictures…they don’t matter. You don’t know what led to those photos.
Be careful of what it is that you envy. Take the time to discover who you are and grow into the best version of yourself.
I will be doing the same.
Do you ever wish you were born into this life with just a little something more?
Like, I don’t know…maybe a penis?
Look, I love being a woman. In truth, I don’t think I would appreciate being a man- however, I do envy the inevitable benefits that come with having an awkward, uncomfortable extra appendage. You know, the special treatment like- automatic respect (just for being able to grow a beard), higher pay (the lack of boobs really helps bump a paycheck), and lest I forget the implied forgiveness (boys will be boys after all).
Jennifer Lawrence (my #WCW, wait is it not Wednesday? I don’t care. She’s my #WCEveryday) recently penned an essay regarding the Hollywood Wage Gap. Thanks to the suggestion of a friend, you now have my thoughts on the topic.
While J.Law’s case isn’t quite relatable (a fact she reinforces in her own writing), she is a perfect example of everything wrong with the lack of regard for women in this country. If a beautiful, smart, TOP SELLING BOX OFFICE DRAW isn’t being paid the same as her male co-stars, how the hell do the rest of us expect to be paid the same as the schlubs at the water cooler?
This blog isn’t a jab at men. Not every guy is an evil, misogynistic bastard hell bent on keeping women “in their place.” Oh no, I’m sorry, have I let my feminism slip out? (Just kidding guys, feminism is about equality. That there is called anger; anger that my ovaries seemingly make me less valuable than a man).
I don’t hate men. (Well, not all of the time). I do hate that men are afforded opportunities and courtesies that women are not; but more than that, I hate that so many people refuse to acknowledge the truth.
How many times have I sat in a meeting to voice my opinion only to be shot down and treated like a little girl? How many times have men treated me with despicable condescension? (I mean really, how could I possibly share the same knowledge as they?) How many times have I been on dates where men automatically assume I’m some dumb bimbo who doesn’t know her left from her right? No guys, they’re just boobs- they don’t have magic powers that absorb or hide away my intelligence. (By the way, those dates end pretty quickly. Were you surprised?)
We are even reduced to our own “gender based language”. I am ashamedly guilty of changing the way I speak in order to get my point across, in order to seem less argumentative, less “bitchy.”
“I’m sorry, this might be a silly idea BUT what if we just…”
Can you imagine a man speaking like that? No. Men get to say things like
“Bob, let’s do it this way…
Great. It’s settled.”
Such power. Such authority. Yet if a women acts equally as confident in a meeting she is immediately labeled “a bitch” or “feisty” or “domineering.” A man would be “assertive,” “bold,” “strong,”- “a leader.”
Men get the cool, ego-boosting adjectives. We get the insulting, negative and degrading adjectives.
I am intelligent, funny (just smile and nod here), strong and independent. That doesn’t make me unique. That makes me a woman. WE are pretty impressive human beings and anyone with a brain can see that. So let’s all band together and fight for equality for one another. There are plenty of men proud to join this fight as well- No Excuses.
FEMINISM IS NOT A DIRTY WORD. Feminism is simply equality of the sexes.
Spread the word. Do your part. Share your voice.
If you feel like watching a unique video on the topic of feminism. Check out this FCKH8 video campaign. (Or, if you’re easily offended- better not).