Sorry folks, I took a day off but I am back and raring to go! I thought it best to sit down and write a long overdue love-letter. My original recipient was briefly overshadowed by a wonderfully delicious bag of sour patch kids that I just devoured. At the time they seemed like they were deserving of a love letter, but now that the sugar rush has faded, I have returned to my true love; Seth MacFarlane. For those of you who don’t know, Seth is the creator of the ever popular Family Guy and this is my profession of love. If you are not Seth MacFarlane, please stop reading. Obviously this is personal and between the two of us. (I’m merely posting it on the internet to be…ya know..ironic).
To My Dearest Seth,
I know that we have never met and most likely never will, but I can no longer hide my love for you. I need you to know how wonderful you are and what a wonderful couple we would make! Firstly, I would like to say that I am nothing like those women who throw themselves at rich, famous, attractive older men for little more than 15 minutes of fame! (I’m aiming for at least a half hour. AT LEAST.)
I admire your talents and ballsiness, for lack of a better word. I’m sure there are better words but it’s late and I’m too lazy to find a thesaurus, so ballsy it is, darling. Family Guy is constantly offending people , even myself on occasion, but that’s what makes the show so damn fantastic. I love watching you take aim at what you disagree with through snide yet entertaining comments in cartoon form. (If only I could do the same, there would be a very unpopular cartoon about an unemployed want-to-be-actress who continually badmouths her former employer who let her go because she was younger and hotter than her). But I digress. Please continue taking shots at Fox and bad politics and for the love of god, never lose the musical numbers! I would be lying if I said that your music hasn’t seduced me. With songs like Bag of Weed, Drunken Irish Dad and Down Syndrome Girl; how could I ever resist?
Truthfully, I knew that I was in love as soon as I heard this song:
With your many talents and male bravado (I prefer to call it that rather than cockiness), I am immediately drawn to you and with a voice like that, what woman could keep her panties on? Keep singing my darling, keep making people laugh, but most importantly, keep this in mind:
Love me, marry me, sing to me, but most of all…make me famous? Afterall, we discussed that 30 minutes of fame, right? 😉
Please say you’ll be my Shipoopi?