Tag: college

Guns and (Funeral) Roses

I am tired.

I am so DAMN tired of turning on the news, tuning into Facebook, opening my homepage and seeing that yet another mass shooting has taken the lives of my fellow Americans.

10 lives gone after the shooting at Oregon’s Umpqua Community College today.  That is 10 too many.

Why is it so difficult to understand that GUN CONTROL IS A PROBLEM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?  Why?  I am genuinely asking.  Someone, please take the time and explain to me why we are unable to do anything to end this epidemic.  How many more people must lose their lives in these senseless tragedies?

I don’t care who the shooter was.  I won’t repeat his name.  He lost his life as well and I am sorry for that.  I know that I am supposed to hate him– he is a murderer.  Trust me, he is not on my list of favorite people- but I am still sorry that he and these 9 people lost their lives.  I am sorry when ANY life is lost.  I am sorry for the family members who must now bear the weight of this loss.

Isn’t that the point?  Shouldn’t we be upset when lives are lost?  Yes, evil people exist but if we relish in their pain and in their death, are we any better?  Should we be happy while his family now suffers with the guilt of his actions and the loss of one of their own?

I don’t want to take pleasure in the death of ANYONE, no matter their sins.

I pray that all of these souls will be cared for.  I pray for their families.  I pray for their friends.

And I pray that this country takes A STAND.

America allowed 27 people, 18 of which were CHILDREN, to die in the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  We stood idly by and let them die in vain.  We have done NOTHING to protect our children, our elderly, our neighbors, our friends, our family.  NOTHING.  Columbine, Aurora, Tuscon, Virginia Tech, etc, etc, etc.  The list goes on and this country continues to fight over gun control because all that our nation seems to be good at lately is bullshit arguments aimed to delay progress.

If watching over a dozen children die hasn’t made our government take a stand, what will?  If we can’t rally after losing pure innocence, what the hell is left?

I am laying in bed, trying to write a cohesive blog but my emotions are getting the best of me and I am just pissed.  Forgive my language and use of a clichéd hash-tag but…#SORRYNOTSORRY.  I am still waiting for America to get off its ass AND DO SOMETHING.

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” – Attribute it to Lincoln or the Bible, whichever makes you feel better, but stand by it.  It is the truth.  The more we fight one another, the less we accomplish.

I am tired.  I am so tired.  I don’t want to hear about any more funerals with guns at the forefront.  I don’t want to hear that anyone else has died because someone with severe mental depravities decided to shoot up a school, or a mall, or a movie theater, or ANYTHING.

I am tired.  Aren’t you?

Job (Dis)Satisfaction

Life is never what we expect.  I suffered through four years of college (and by suffered I mean that I had the most awesome time of my life) and turned around to expect a career that I would appreciate in the same way; difficult, yet rewarding.  Oops. 

College taught me that you can be frustrated beyond belief and still enjoy exactly what it is that you are doing with your life.  Does it suck to study for an exam for five hours every night?  Does it suck to write a really painful essay on the Holocaust?  Does it suck to pull an all-nighter three nights in a row just to make it through final exams?  Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!  Is it fan-fucking-tastic to go out and party whenever you feel like it?  Is it better yet to live away from home without the stress of actual adult responsibility?  Is it reassuring to know that all of your hard work is to achieve a true goal; to get that damn degree that you’ve worked so hard for?   You bet your ass it is!  College may not have been all parties and giggles but the experience more than made up for the stress.  I earned my degree, enjoyed doing it and of that I am proud.

I foolishly, and with all the naiveté of a brand new college grad, thought that my work experience might give me that same kind of pride; my mistake.  I and so many others like me had the misfortune of graduating in the midst of a terrible recession.  In other words, we got fucked.  I took a job as a host at a local restaurant because I didn’t have the experience to become a waitress.  I remained at home with my father and used my poor excuse for a salary for necessities.  Eventually, I worked my way up to becoming a waitress which helped increase my wages by about 2%.  (I fully admit that I was not the best waitress but in my defense I was still very new!)  I decided that one year of working in a restaurant was about all I could take.  It was time to move on.  After a brief stint at my local Starbucks, I was offered a desk job at a small company located only ten minutes from my house!  Sweet deal, right?  Wrong again.  If it seems too good to be true, it is.  Lesson learned. 

I remained at this company for approximately eight months.  The first few months were perfectly fine, frustrating from time to time but my new big girl salary more than made up for that.  The position was about what I expected from a desk job, nothing glamorous but do-able.  About two or three months into my new job, there was a change in management and everything was downhill from that moment on.  It was my very own ‘Office Space’.  (I finally understand that movie now.  Although I never took a baseball bat to a copy machine, I fully sympathize with the sentiment.) 

The new management team no longer cared about its employees.  Employees were no longer looked at as human beings but as a giant machine that needed to be continually poked and prodded until it worked the way they saw fit.  I would expect this from a large corporation but from a private company that only employs about fifty people?  I expected a bit more understanding, and much more tact.  It became apparent that management showed no concern for those working beneath them, taking credit for work that was not their own, expressing blatant favoritism, and a complete disregard for professionalism.  Work became a living hell.  Not only did I not receive credit for the work I did but I was forced to take the blame for things that were not my doing and god forbid you stood up for yourself, that’s not allowed!  Everything I had thought to be true of the work world was slowly being proven wrong. 

Things I learned from my first big girl job:

  • ·         Professionalism will get you nowhere.

  • ·         Lying will get you everywhere.

  • ·         Respect is for chumps.

  • ·         Blaming someone else for not doing their job is more important than doing your own job.

  • ·         Condescension and lack of communication are the best ways to manage.

Forgive me for not being impressed.  Perhaps I expected too much from the “professional” world.  I can admit when I’m wrong; this must have just been a miscalculation on my part.  I’m sure that no matter what company you belong to, you will experience the same atmosphere.  Forbes Top 100 Companies must live by the aforementioned rules as well. 

Needless to say, I felt it was time for a change.  I didn’t respect myself anymore.  Working for this company made me feel physically ill, scouts’ honor.  I couldn’t subject myself to an environment where I was constantly made to feel like less than a person.  I am a good worker.  I don’t claim to be the smartest person in the world, or the best worker, but I do my job to the best of my abilities.  For what?  To be treated like a child?  Many people disagree with my decision to leave a “good job”, but to them I say, bless you.  If you can stomach the thought of settling into a position that makes you miserable, living your entire life with that feeling of emptiness and despair, to you I say, bless you.  I cannot live my life that way.  I will continue to search for a career that fulfills me, a job that makes me feel like I am working towards a goal; a job that makes me feel like I am worth something.

For those of you who choose to remain in that miserable job, I leave you with this: