Spoiler alert: It’s me! I’m cookin’! I’m also good lookin’… and apparently talking to myself and answering my own questions. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Or is it genius? Eh, that’s fodder for another blog on another day. Pushing the A.D.D. aside and moving along…
We learned in my last blog that I am newly on a gluten free diet and since this new development has confused my poor father beyond all belief, I am left with no choice but to cook for myself. (Disclaimer: I used to attempt to cook for myself but it typically ended with my father standing over my shoulder telling me that I’m doing everything wrong until he swiped the spatula from my hand and shoved me out of the kitchen. Needless to say, I gave up trying rather quickly. Ah, the pitfalls of living at home. Pro: Mo’ money. Con: Mo’ parents). I am now forced to learn the old fashioned way: Trial by Fire. Literally.
Luckily, I have not yet burned the house down so I’m counting that as a win.
I started slowly, with boxed gluten free/dairy free brownies by King Arthur Flour (did I mention that I can’t have dairy either? Clearly, I killed someone in a past life). Surprisingly, these brownies turned out amazing (thanks to the chefs/engineers who figured out how to make that flour so bangin’) considering the lack of skill needed on my part! I have been eating them non-stop for the last three days. Actually, it’s become a bit of an addiction and I may have a problem. This is going to be a once in a blue moon kind of treat otherwise I will blow up like Violet in Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory, minus the awesome violet hue.
The next day I made my own soup…from scratch! Thanks to my new favorite app, Yummly, I was able to find a bunch of really great gluten free/dairy free recipes. It even generates a shopping list for you, making grocery shopping that much easier! (I’m not even getting paid to advertise for these people- I just think it’s an awesome app. And if you struggle with the culinary things in life as much as I do, it may come in handy)*
Here’s the recipe for the soup if you want to try it out: Cream of Broccoli
What I learned from making this soup:
- The estimated cook time is total bull. It took me twice as long to get to the final product as predicted.
- Chopping broccoli is frustrating and not nearly as fun without Dana Carvey singing to you as you go.
- Blenders sound really scary. Even the counter trembles in fear.
- Dancing to Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons while you cook is the ONLY way to cook.
I am rather happy with the way it turned out. It was totally edible! I would go so far as to say I enjoyed it! Shocking, I know.
Today, I went all out and made a gluten free/dairy free shrimp scampi. Again, here’s the recipe if you’d like to try it out: Shrimp Scampi.
What I learned from making this scampi:
- When you heat oil and then attempt to toss garlic in the pan, it will jump out of the pan and try to kill you. Oil hates you. And your mother.
- When you don’t reduce the wine enough, you can get drunk from scampi. (Well, if you have tolerance as low as mine which is, to be fair, pitifully non-existent).
- Don’t add too much lemon. You’ll make really weird faces while you eat which is not ideal for date night (I would assume. I slurp my s’ghetti alone, thank you very much).
Overall, I am ridiculously proud of myself for adulting so hard this week. I took my first steps toward culinary greatness. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the next Giada.
I’m just kidding. My cooking show would be me cursing every five seconds because I knocked over the pepper AGAIN and spilled the olive oil on my scarf (because yes, I am that genius who cooks with a scarf on. I also get said scarf caught on the kitchen drawer and almost choke myself mid-sautee).
Thinking about it now…this would be a BRILLIANT YouTube show. ::Makes a mental note::
Well, that’s enough of that. I hope you’ve enjoyed my slightly (scampi induced) drunken ramblings.
*However, if Yummly wanted to pay me to advertise for them, I would be totally game for that too….