I wonder…how many of us know what constitutes emotional abuse?
In a world of fine lines, what is too much and what is normal? Normal is such a relative word and sometimes, I find myself making excuses for those crossing that oh so fine, near invisible, line – myself included.
I know what it is to be in an abusive relationship, even though it took me years to recognize it. I know how easy it is to ignore the signs. I know how hard it can be to overcome. I know the damage it can cause. The scars don’t just disappear and if you’re not careful, they will only grow deeper.
I am not a psychologist and I will not pretend to know more than I do. You may agree with what I say or you may not. That choice is yours.
That being said, I would like to point out that abuse does not reside only in romantic relationships. Friends, family, co-workers, and employers are all capable of emotional and mental abuse. I won’t belittle any one relationship by saying that one is easier to leave than another. Who am I to say that you should quit your job because your boss is abusive? You may not be financially stable enough to give up the paycheck. But keep looking for new work, you WILL find something with persistence! Breaking up with a friend can be just as difficult, if not more devastating than losing a romantic partner. If you feel couples therapy (yes, for a friendship too) is worth it, then go for it. If you feel that confrontation is dangerous, by all means, please don’t put yourself in harm’s way!
Life is not easy. Asking for help is not easy. Confronting an abuser is not easy (and not always recommended). My wish for those suffering is that you realize that you are WORTH IT and that you find the strength to do what it takes to help yourself.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE SMART. YOU ARE TALENTED.
YOU ARE WONDERFUL.
YOU ARE VALUED.
If you think that you are in an abusive relationship (or if you recognize abusive qualities in yourself) and are having trouble , please seek help. Please talk to a professional. I know this is easier said than done but then again…what isn’t?
Check out the article here to review the signs of emotional abuse. It may not leave the same scars as physical abuse, but the scars remain just the same.
If you are suffering or know someone suffering from emotional abuse, please see these organizations below. Both women AND men can be victims of abuse.
Finally, A Note for Everyone- especially around the stressful holiday season- Remember to tell those you love that you love them. Tell them what they mean to you. Please don’t assume that they “just know.” It is so important to TELL our loved ones how we feel. You never know when you may lose that opportunity.
Take care of yourselves and those you love. God bless.