Tag: abuse

Invisible Scars (Escaping the Abuse)

I wonder…how many of us know what constitutes emotional abuse?

In a world of fine lines, what is too much and what is normal?  Normal is such a relative word and sometimes, I find myself making excuses for those crossing that oh so fine, near invisible, line – myself included.

I know what it is to be in an abusive relationship, even though it took me years to recognize it.  I know how easy it is to ignore the signs.  I know how hard it can be to overcome.  I know the damage it can cause.  The scars don’t just disappear and if you’re not careful, they will only grow deeper.

I am not a psychologist and I will not pretend to know more than I do. You may agree with what I say or you may not.  That choice is yours.

That being said, I would like to point out that abuse does not reside only in romantic relationships.  Friends, family, co-workers, and employers are all capable of emotional and mental abuse.  I won’t belittle any one relationship by saying that one is easier to leave than another.  Who am I to say that you should quit your job because your boss is abusive?  You may not be financially stable enough to give up the paycheck.  But keep looking for new work, you WILL find something with persistence!  Breaking up with a friend can be just as difficult, if not more devastating than losing a romantic partner.  If you feel couples therapy (yes, for a friendship too) is worth it, then go for it.  If you feel that confrontation is dangerous, by all means, please don’t put yourself in harm’s way!

Life is not easy.  Asking for help is not easy.  Confronting an abuser is not easy (and not always recommended).  My wish for those suffering is that you realize that you are WORTH IT and that you find the strength to do what it takes to help yourself.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  YOU ARE SMART.  YOU ARE TALENTED.

YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

YOU ARE VALUED. 

If you think that you are in an abusive relationship (or if you recognize abusive qualities in yourself) and are having trouble , please seek help.  Please talk to a professional.  I know this is easier said than done but then again…what isn’t?

Check out the article here to review the signs of emotional abuse.  It may not leave the same scars as physical abuse, but the scars remain  just the same.

If you are suffering or know someone suffering from emotional abuse, please see these organizations below.  Both women AND men can be victims of abuse.

http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/types-of-violence/emotional-abuse.html

http://www.bandbacktogether.com/emotional-abuse-resources/

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

http://www.people.com/article/california-moving-company-moves-domestic-violence-victism-free

Finally, A Note for Everyone- especially around the stressful holiday season- Remember to tell those you love that you love them.  Tell them what they mean to you.  Please don’t assume that they “just know.”  It is so important to TELL our loved ones how we feel.  You never know when you may lose that opportunity.

Take care of yourselves and those you love.  God bless.

❤ G

 

 

 

An Open Letter to Bullies

     As the years go by, I watch as pieces of my innocence are ripped away.  After twenty-five years on this earth, the naiveté is finally dissipating.  Lucky as I was to lead a safe and sheltered childhood, the harsher it is to now accept reality.   Injustice abounds and far too many people are willing to stand idly by, myself included.  I lie awake at night, ashamed of myself and those around me.  How has the world come to this?  What has brought us to become so cruel and callous? 

     Children are taunting each other, torturing each other in such ways that their victims take their own lives.  Child’s play is no longer a game.  What used to be a simple tease has become a vicious attack and the shame of it is; we let this continue.  Some will argue the culprit is nature over nurture but I beg to differ.  I won’t deny that some people may be predisposed to argumentative and even some volatile traits but I refuse to blame mother nature for all the world’s ill wills.  Parenting, or lack thereof, has an enormous effect on a child and to turn a blind eye and pretend that we don’t see it is unacceptable.  Every time we talk disparagingly about our neighbor, the guy at work, or the woman at the supermarket, our kids are watching us, hanging on every word and mimicking our every move.  They learn from their teachers, from their family and their peers.

     The greatest shame lies with these grown men and women perpetuating bullying whether it be at work or just in passing on the street.  What do you care if the guy in the corner office has male pattern baldness?  Why does it matter that the checker at the grocery store is overweight?  So your friend’s neighbor is gay, who cares?  Does your life depend on how many nasty comments you can throw their way?  Will you suffer great harm if you do not taunt these people who are already struggling? 

               Please, I am begging someone to explain this to me.  What is wrong with human beings that we need to constantly hurt one another?  How, in this day and age, do we tolerate this kind of behavior?  We allow it to continue in our schools, in our offices, even our government.  I would like to plead with everyone who has ever hurled insults at another, and we are all guilty, please stop and think before you speak.  Please, ask yourself how you would feel if it were you on the receiving end; if it were your child.  If you still want to say it, by all means you have the right.  My plea to the world is that we open our eyes.  Don’t let injustice slip by you without a word.  Fight.  Fight for yourselves, and fight for others.