Go To Bed with Gilda, Wake Up With Me

Rita Hayworth once said that “Every man I knew, went to bed with Gilda and woke up with me.”  Gilda was her most famous (and most sexually desired) character.

Shamefully, the only reason I know this quote is the classic Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts’ rom-com, “Notting Hill.”  (If you haven’t seen Notting Hill, go watch it right now.  Stop reading this silly blog and enjoy the glorious flowing man-locks of 90’s Hugh Grant).  Actually, forget that.  Go watch “Gilda.”

I mention this quote because it is so indicative of the way we view women today and it resonated with me.  No, no, I’m not implying that I am in anyway as fantastic as Rita Hayworth, but…

Wait.  Yes, I am implying just that.  I am implying that all women are as absolutely beautiful and feisty and smart and sexual as the ravishing Rita Hayworth.

Society tells women that we must be beautiful, sexual, brilliant, thin, talented, soft spoken, and all around perfect in order to be considered desirable.  Who can live up to those standards?

In the past, I have found myself buying into that theory- placing far too much emphasis on my physical appearance- to ensure that I too might be desirable.  But even Rita Hayworth, lauded as one of the most beautiful women in the world, took off her make-up at the end of the day.  She ceased to be what she allowed the public to see and went to bed as just…Rita.

Rita Hayworth with hair and make-up

Rita Hayworth sans make-up

 

Me, with hair and make-up

Me, sans make-up

We all wear a mask throughout our day.  We hide behind make-up, behind sarcasm, behind professionalism, and whatever other wall of choice.  We have a public persona that we choose to let others see, and only a select few special people get to know the real us.

I’ve stopped wearing make-up on a daily basis.  I didn’t want to hide behind a mask.  Do I feel prettier when I wear make-up?  Absolutely.  Do I feel less desirable without make-up?  Shamefully, yes.  Sometimes I need to get all gussied up to remind myself that I am desirable and for that, I get upset with myself.  I do not want to need that kind of validation.

The truth is- anybody looks good after hours of hair and make-up.  ANYBODY.  Just scroll up and see the proof.  Beauty is skin deep.  Your personality, your thoughts, your beliefs, your sense of humor, your intelligence and your attitude are what make you who you are.  You are only as desirable as you believe, and I mean that in more ways than one.

We are what we choose to be.

Do you want that job?  BELIEVE that you deserve it.  Do you want to feel pretty?  BELIEVE that you are pretty (because you are, dammit)!  Do you want that promotion?  BELIEVE that you will get it.  Do you want to be sexy?  BELIEVE that you are sexy.

I know that it can sound silly, but it’s true.  Confidence makes all the difference.  You are not the mask you wear.  Take off the make-up (figuratively or literally, you get to choose!) and be confident in who you are.

Rita struggled to feel loved for who she was and perhaps my analogy is extreme (We can’t all be rich and successful, world famous actors purporting to be the image of perfection) BUT I stand by the sentiment.  We don’t always show our true self to the world and that’s okay, but make sure to let your guard down and show yourself, without the mask, to those who really count.

Everyone wants to be loved for who they really are, so take the time to take off the mask and figure out who that is.  Then you can choose who sees the mask, and who doesn’t.

❤ G

 

 

 

 

 

Life is a Sitcom

     “My life has a superb cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.”  I came across this quote on facebook, where else?  (Thank you to the dear friend who posted this quote.  It gave me something to write about!)  I then googled to find this adorable picture so that I could give you some decor in this blog.  In all seriousness, is there anyone who can’t relate to this quote?  If you can’t, you’ve obviously come from another planet.

Indeed I do have a superb cast in my life.  I’ve got the quirky side-kicks, the arch-enemies (those guys–not so superb), the love interest, and some comic relief; all the makings of a fantastic movie.  Unfortunately, if this were a real movie the damn thing would never get made because the plot is all over the place, inconsistent and hard to follow.  I might be able to let it pass for a 90’s sitcom.

Why is it so hard to accept that not knowing the plot is a blessing?  Because it makes shit difficult!  That’s why!  As exhilerating as surprises are, comfort comes with security and knowing that everything will be okay.  We can promise ourselves blindly that everything will be okay, and I firmly believe that in the end it will, but what about all that’s in between?  How difficult will it get?  How much suffering must I or you do before it’s “okay”?  When is the episode where I lose my job coming?  (Oh wait, I’ve gotten that out of the way already. Fingers crossed that that particular episode won’t go into syndication)  In what season will I get my dream job?  And how will my series finale play out?  What do I do with all of these questions?!

The reality is that people want to know what’s coming.  Perhaps not the immediate future, but we all look for that validation that in the end, we will have what we’ve always wanted.  In the end, it will all work out.  We neglect to see that what we really want may change as time moves forward and things that we never expected to happen change the way we look at things.  I am terrified that my future will not be what I hoped for.  But in the end, I am the driving force behind the way my life turns out.  There is no one to blame but myself if I end my life as a cranky old coot blaming my kids for the misfortune I’d experienced.  So for now, I choose to write my sitcom day by day.  I can’t possibly plan my future.  There’s no fun in that.

And here’s a secret- I’m pretty sure that most sitcom writers have no idea what their next move is either.  I mean, have you seen some of the plot lines out there today??