New Year, Same Me

The New Year is fast approaching and you know me, I’m not one to miss a chance to post about a clichéd, yet nuanced  tradition!

But I’m going to give it to you straight, I don’t plan on becoming a “New Me” for the new year.  I am in a constant state of transition.  Every day I become a new me. Don’t you?

Every day a new thought pops into my head.  Half the time they are absolutely ridiculous like, “If the Sanderson sisters had been dead for 300 years, how did they know exactly how to use a microphone for their epic ‘I Put a Spell On You’ dance number?” or “Italian sounds so much prettier than English- an Italian man could spend an hour describing a carrot to me and I will have already accepted his proposal, married him, and had his child in in my head in that time.”  But you know, those are just the thoughts that keep me sane and giggling to myself in a corner.  (That’s the definition of sane, right?)

In addition to those Einstein level realizations, I do have the occasional meaningful thought.  One day I thought, “I want to help promote independent film and encourage aspiring film-makers to follow their dreams.”  Want to know what happened?  I created a successful film festival.  And it’s great.  (Rahway International Film Festival– check it out.)

My point is, every day will bring you new ideas and no one says that you have to wait until January 1st to make a move.  (If they do, stop talking to them.  You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.)

I will always be “me.”  I am both the same and new.  Every day brings something new- new lessons, new ideas, new plans, new skin cells…all that jazz.  My values remain the same, my morals remain the same even as my hopes and dreams evolve.

Start today, start tomorrow, start in March, who cares.  Start when you are ready to make a change.  You don’t need to reinvent yourself for the new year.  You should accept who you are and do everything in your power to become the best version of yourself that you can be – starting on any day that you damn well please.

 

Invisible Scars (Escaping the Abuse)

I wonder…how many of us know what constitutes emotional abuse?

In a world of fine lines, what is too much and what is normal?  Normal is such a relative word and sometimes, I find myself making excuses for those crossing that oh so fine, near invisible, line – myself included.

I know what it is to be in an abusive relationship, even though it took me years to recognize it.  I know how easy it is to ignore the signs.  I know how hard it can be to overcome.  I know the damage it can cause.  The scars don’t just disappear and if you’re not careful, they will only grow deeper.

I am not a psychologist and I will not pretend to know more than I do. You may agree with what I say or you may not.  That choice is yours.

That being said, I would like to point out that abuse does not reside only in romantic relationships.  Friends, family, co-workers, and employers are all capable of emotional and mental abuse.  I won’t belittle any one relationship by saying that one is easier to leave than another.  Who am I to say that you should quit your job because your boss is abusive?  You may not be financially stable enough to give up the paycheck.  But keep looking for new work, you WILL find something with persistence!  Breaking up with a friend can be just as difficult, if not more devastating than losing a romantic partner.  If you feel couples therapy (yes, for a friendship too) is worth it, then go for it.  If you feel that confrontation is dangerous, by all means, please don’t put yourself in harm’s way!

Life is not easy.  Asking for help is not easy.  Confronting an abuser is not easy (and not always recommended).  My wish for those suffering is that you realize that you are WORTH IT and that you find the strength to do what it takes to help yourself.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  YOU ARE SMART.  YOU ARE TALENTED.

YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

YOU ARE VALUED. 

If you think that you are in an abusive relationship (or if you recognize abusive qualities in yourself) and are having trouble , please seek help.  Please talk to a professional.  I know this is easier said than done but then again…what isn’t?

Check out the article here to review the signs of emotional abuse.  It may not leave the same scars as physical abuse, but the scars remain  just the same.

If you are suffering or know someone suffering from emotional abuse, please see these organizations below.  Both women AND men can be victims of abuse.

http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/types-of-violence/emotional-abuse.html

http://www.bandbacktogether.com/emotional-abuse-resources/

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

http://www.people.com/article/california-moving-company-moves-domestic-violence-victism-free

Finally, A Note for Everyone- especially around the stressful holiday season- Remember to tell those you love that you love them.  Tell them what they mean to you.  Please don’t assume that they “just know.”  It is so important to TELL our loved ones how we feel.  You never know when you may lose that opportunity.

Take care of yourselves and those you love.  God bless.

❤ G

 

 

 

Another Year Older

IT’S ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY!  IT’S ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY!

I’m not sure why I’m excited.  I don’t exactly like getting older but I still enjoy the little bit of attention I get simply by aging.

Look at me everyone, I’ve gotten older!  Quite impressive, no?

A brief conversation with my five year old nephew recently put everything into perspective: (Imagine this in cute little-kid-speak)

Friend: Gina is turning 28 soon!

Nephew:  Oh.  That’s old.

Me:  Well, it’s not THAT old.  It’s not like I’m 100.

Nephew:  No.  You’re OLDER than 100! ::giggle:: ::giggle::

We’ll work on those math skills after my heart stops breaking…

(I’m kidding.  He’s actually super smart and good at math but he looooves his jokes).

While I may not be 100, I have learned a good amount in my 28 years on this earth.  I hadn’t really taken the time to reflect on my life as of late, but in recent days, it felt necessary.

Maybe I’m not where I want to be right now but I have come a long way and I have fought to get here.  I often find that I treat myself more harshly than any other outsides critics, and while I know this is fairly typical- we are our own worst enemy- I don’t want to continue this way.

And so…for my birthday, I am writing to remind myself that I’m actually pretty cool.  I am not going to sit here tooting my own horn, but I will say that I have grown as a human being and for that, I am proud.

I have become bolder.  I demand respect.  I take risks.  I make plans.  I pray.  I work.  I play.  I love.  I laugh.

I’m not the same little girl who used to hide behind her mother when people spoke.  I’m not the same girl who allows others to use her.  I’m not the same girl who kept her mouth shut.

I have grown in more than just age and I am proud.  Twenty eight years has taught me so much and I can only imagine what the next twenty eight will bring.

Never stop learning.  Never stop growing.  Never stop changing.  I hope that you (and I) will learn to appreciate every little bit of life (even when life gets tough, because that’s when we learn the most).

Thank you for reading. 🙂

❤ G