Month: September 2015

Meeting Cute with “The Intern”

It’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating scene so I figured it best to ease into it.

I took myself on a lovely “me date” today and because I am a true gentleman, I bought myself a bouquet of roses just to make it extra special.

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Aren’t they pretty?!?

Cliché or not, I love flowers.  They make me smile (and a good date should always end in smiles).  Me, myself and I also enjoyed a lovely trip to the movies to see “The Intern.”  I absolutely LOVED it; so instead of telling you more about my quest to turn my life around and take myself on weekly dates (because I do indeed plan to start dating myself), I am going to give you my review of “The Intern.”

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There are two women whom I not-so-secretly aspire to be, Tina Fey and Nancy Meyers.  Most of you know the creative genius of Tina Fey but fewer of you may recognize Nancy Meyers as she tends to hide behind the camera.

Nancy Meyers is the writer behind some of my favorite films, “Father of the Bride,” “Something’s Gotta Give,” and “The Holiday” just to name a few.  Her latest creation, “The Intern” does not disappoint.

Meyers has a way of providing her characters with monologues that undoubtedly resonate with her audience.  She somehow manages to bring to life all of our inner fears, desires, and thoughts in her almost unbelievably open and honest characters.  Maybe we aren’t all as willing to tell our life stories to strangers (except maybe the girl who blogs daily…) but Meyers’ characters make it easy to believe.  They are so wonderfully vulnerable and raw in a way that most of us can only wish to be.

Boasting a cast of stars such as Robert De Niro, Rene Russo, and Anne Hathaway “The Intern” bestowed upon its audience a cast of truly lovable, flawed, fantastic individuals.  This is one of De Niro’s softest and sweetest characters to date, light-years from his “Casino” days and nothing like his excursion with the Fockers. His incarnation of Ben Whittaker is the grandpa that everyone wants to adopt.

There were moments of utterly unrealistic proportions but in a rom-com (esque) formula, they fit superbly.  Despite these somewhat silly moments, myself and the audience were fully willing to suspend our disbelief for the duration of the enthralling 2 hour storyline.

Anne Hathaway plays the female entrepreneur that everyone smiles at but secretly judges as soon as she steps away.  In other words, Anne Hathaway played every successful woman with passion and a heart.  Her plight at wanting to stay true to her family, her employees, and her vision while maintaining a sense of self is something with which many working women struggle.  It was easy to relate to her desire to grow her brand without sacrificing her home life.  As a matter of fact, as a young woman trying to do the same, it was impossible NOT to relate.

“The Intern” provides elements of intrigue, sadness, happiness, silliness, and an abundance of “aw” worthy moments.  If I had not already been in love with De Niro, this movie certainly would have pushed me over the edge.  He is at his most likeable and even the ever-criticized Anne Hathaway proved herself yet again as the strong, beautiful woman that she is.

If you enjoy inspirational, true-to-life comedies, I would not hesitate in recommending “The Intern” to you.

Take yourself on a nice “me date” and don’t skimp on the flowers. 🙂

High School- The Sequel

God bless high school teachers.

No, seriously.  I think they could use the extra help.

Due to work obligations, I found myself venturing through the halls of a certain high school today, something I haven’t done in close to ten years. (Let’s pause for a moment while I cry about how old I’m getting and how unconscionably horrible this is).

My co-worker and I were at the school to participate in an assembly meant to inspire the students to “dream big” and “be the best they can be” etc (at which they were largely rude and severely lacking in theatre etiquette).  The students were ushered into the auditorium through what I swear to be the world’s tiniest hallways.  (These are teenagers, not children.  Why are the halls so small??  Or am I still so afraid of high school that claustrophobia began to set in?).  The halls were SWARMING with teenagers– it was wall to wall hormones and I physically could not get past them.  Even in my fancy dress and nice heels, I still felt like the same awkward, gawky little girl I was in high school.  Why wouldn’t they let me through??

At some point, I was able to break free of the throng of adolescents and found myself being introduced to the school’s principal.  At 27 years old, it still feels like meeting the damn president.  The only principal I have never been afraid of was my elementary school principal and that is because he was the sweetest man to ever exist (Rest in peace, Mr. J.  You will always be my favorite).

What is it about stepping into a high school that makes me immediately regress into that little girl who never got noticed?   I may have been having some trouble deciding on a new career path lately and the idea of becoming a teacher had been tossed around for a bit but after today’s foray, that idea has been thrown out the window and run over by multiple cars.  AND buses.

No matter how many existential crises I may have, I will never consider being a teacher again.  (Remind me that I said this in two years when I am due for my next break down).

I have always respected teachers.  I know that it’s not easy to deal with one child let alone a classroom of 20+.  Who doesn’t see that?  It takes a special person to be a teacher (part of me thinks you need to be a little crazy to want to surround yourself with that many mini people trying to figure out their lives but hey, to each his own).  I give them major credit.

On the bright side, I’ve narrowed my career path down by one!

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Cheers to Yogi Berra

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I couldn’t let the day go by without briefly eulogizing the inimitable Yogi Berra. Lorenzo Pietro Berra passed away at the age of 90 late last night.  He is best known as the fantastically charismatic and engaging Yankee catcher, lest we forget that he retired as a Met!  I am sure that all of New York (and New Jersey) spent the day in mourning today.

I may not have been alive during Yogi’s prime but my father certainly was and I grew up hearing story after story about his idol, Yogi Berra.  As kids, my father used to take my brother and I to the Yogi Berra Museum in Little Falls, NJ.  (I highly recommend it if you’re a baseball fan and in need of a day trip.)  The museum is also a Learning Center aimed at teaching kids that they too can achieve anything they set their minds to.  (If you’ve got kids, check out their programs HERE)!

That being said, what I learned about Yogi from my father was not about his talent (though he was clearly a very talented catcher), it was about his humor and his kind heart.

I won’t pretend to be an expert on Yogi or the Yankees of the past but I know that he will always hold a special place in my heart because he was the Yankee name I heard most often growing up.  And after hearing all of his wonderful Yogi-isms, I couldn’t help but fall in love with the man.

And so, in honor of Yogi, I’ve listed a few of my personal favorite Yogi-isms.

     “If you come to a fork in the road– take it.”

     “The future ain’t what it used to be.”

     “It’s deja vu all over again.”

     “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” 

     “It ain’t over til it’s over.”

Words to live by, folks.  Words to live by.

Cheers to you, Yogi.  Now you can finally rest easy with Carmen.  Rest in peace and may God bless.

yogi-berra-anniversary           yogi and carmen

Can Exes Be Friends? Would they be Frexes?

exfriendsTherapy is expensive.

WordPress is free.

Welcome to my open session therapy with myself!

Sometimes I just need to sit down and write everything out before I can truly process it.  I know that everyone processes things differently but for me, a keyboard or pen and paper is the only way I know how.

One of my friends suggested that I write a blog about friendship between exes (Look Alex, you got a shout out!).  It has always been an area of intrigue for me, so I figured…why not?  Let me exercise my demons via QWERTY and see where we land.

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I know a small number of people who have maintained friendships with their exes. I can count them on one hand.  I stare at them in awe and wonderment, the same way I stare at people who eat anchovy and banana sandwiches (Just…why??).  I don’t understand it.

Now, this blog is in reference to the people who jump into “friendships” immediately after a breakup.  (Those of you who rekindle a friendship years later are excused.  I can understand that part to a greater degree– though I still struggle with it).  How can you be friends with an ex?  Furthermore, why would you want to be friends with an ex?  If you still want that person in your life, why did you bother breaking up?  I understand that sometimes things just don’t work out.  Sometimes two wonderful people get together but for one reason or another they just don’t make a good pair.  I can see that.  However, I still do not see why you would want to remain friends with that person.  There were still reasons you had to end things, no?

Maybe it’s just the way I’m wired but I can’t seem to wrap my head around the concept.  What is the point?  I see a lot of people do it for the wrong reasons…aspirations of reconciliation, money, dependence.  What are the right reasons?

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Another friend (whaddup Hayet, you get a shout out too!) pointed out that perhaps if the breakup were due to extenuating circumstances (job re-location, moving cross country, etc) friendship seems feasible.  But when someone decides that they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you any more, why would you want to be friends with that person?

That seems like a slap in the face to me.  “You’re not good enough for me to spend my life with, but let’s have dinner… occasionally.”  Am I missing something here? What exactly is enticing about this idea?

Personally (and everything about this blog is simply personal opinion, feel free to talk shit later), I think that the people claiming they want “friendship” really just want to keep you on the back burner.  You know, in case they can’t find anyone better.  I happen to think I deserve more than that.  I think that I deserve someone who knows my worth, appreciates me, respects me and WANTS to be with me.  Call me crazy, but I do and I think you deserve that too.

Know your worth.  Don’t let anyone use you or abuse you.  You deserve better than that.

If I’m lucky, maybe just maybe, I will find a love like this.  A love that never dies.  Because we all deserve that, don’t we?  It seems worth waiting for.

(If you watch this video, you WILL cry).

Be the Good in the World

I decided to take a different route today.  My thoughts are random and often frivolous and so today, I wanted to call your attention to something worthwhile.  (I know it’s pretty hard to beat ice cream and Netflix but let’s try, shall we?)

Let me tell you a little bit about my friend Jen.  She is probably one of the most amazing people you will ever meet.  (To be fair, all of my friends are top notch- I only choose the best.  But today is about Jen.)  She is a fantastic wife, mother, artist, and do-gooder extraordinaire.  She is certainly one of the strongest, kindest people I know and she is doing some great things with her life right now.

Take a second to check out her blog, Be the Good Project or search her on Facebook and Instagram at the same name.  She and her sons are proving that there are still good people in this world– one good deed at a time.

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Since starting this project a few weeks ago she has left positive notes for strangers, bought coffee for the guy behind her, sent love notes to sick children, led a food drive collecting as much as 20 bags of food for those in need, and that’s just the beginning.

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Doesn’t it make you want to go out and do some good of your own?

I am so proud of my friend for being such a positive light in the world, but even more-so, I am so happy that she is teaching her sons to be just as kind and giving.  She is leading by example and it is beautiful.  She is a wonderful mother and IF I ever have children, I aspire to be just like her.

Follow her and join the cause.  Do one good deed every day.  Smile.  Save a life.

My New (Old) Boyfriend!

I remember my first boyfriend(s) like it was yesterday.  They were always there for me– when I needed comfort, when I wanted to have fun, when I was bored.  They were great guys.  I haven’t seen or heard from them in so long.

I doubt we would have ever split if not for my body forcing us apart.

Ben, Jerry, I miss you guys.

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I would have never given up on you if not for that damn lactose.  NEVER.  I miss you every day.  Don’t you ever forget that!  I love you and miss you terribly.

Alas, I had to move on.

Next came Netflix.  He was a beaut.  He always kept me busy when I was bored.  He entertained me.  He would hang out in pajamas and stay in bed with me all day.  He was the best.

We too drifted apart when I began organizing an independent film festival.  I just had too many other movies to watch.  I couldn’t dedicate the time to our blossoming relationship.  My account had been stagnant for months.

But I’m ready to give it another try now!  I had such high hopes for this relationship.  I’m just not ready to let it die yet.  So we are starting over.  We’re starting slow, with the third season of “Orange is the New Black” but after this, I think we might be ready to work our way through a whole series marathon together!  Maybe we will even sprinkle in some more indie movies in there.

The possibilities are endless.

I’m so glad that he’s giving me another shot.  He’s got my shows all picked out and suggested for me.  (It’s a pretty sweet line-up.  He knows me so well).  I’m so grateful to have him back in my life. ❤ ❤

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But Ben & Jerry, just know that if I can find a lactaid pill that actually works…we are making this a threesome.  (Or foursome depending on how you look at it).

Til It Happens to You (Lady Gaga)

::TRIGGER WARNING::

The video included in this blog contains graphic content relating to rape and sexual harassment.  Please proceed with caution.

I’ve written about it previously, I’m writing about it now, and I will (unfortunately) write about it again.  Sexual harassment is one of the real dangers that women (men too) face daily.

I wanted to share this music video recently released by Lady Gaga because it clearly shows how seemingly harmless situations can become dangerous very quickly.

I just want to stress that we, as a people, should NEVER blame the victim.  Being drunk, being high, wearing a short skirt, wearing a low cut top, having breasts- none of these make it OKAY to rape or molest someone.  NO means NO and it will always mean NO.  If a woman (or man) does not give consent, it is automatically rape.  If there is any reason for doubt, err on the side of caution.

I am sure that the people reading this blog are not the ones who really need this message but please spread the word to those who do.

Remember that words hurt.  You never know what others have gone through.

Don’t blame the victim.

Not even in jest.

Know your facts.  Protect yourself.  Protect others.  Because you never really know how it feels til it happens to you.  (And I pray that it never does).

Here is a really great article explaining consent. Spread the word.

My Ideal Man

Alrights, guys.  Today’s blog is admittedly a total cop out.  I’m running low on time but must fill my quota of one blog per day!  (Now I know how cops feel when they’re handing out those tickets for no reason…)

Anyway, I’ve been asked a few times recently what my “ideal man” would be.  I’m going to let the ever lovely Shania Twain answer for me.

Truth is, my answer is pretty simple.  I have two non-negotiables: You have to support me and respect me.

Everything else is secondary.  I will figure that out when the time comes.

Also, Shania is on tour again.  I need someone to take me… 😉

Baby Got Back- Let’s Talk Ass

Remember how I said it was difficult to come up with different topics about which to write every day?  I’m going to let you in on a little secret:

Most days, I’m pulling these blog topics out of my ass.  But…since we’re on the topic of ass, let me bitch for a moment about the disaster that is sexual harassment.

“Oh no, she’s one of those angry, feminist girls.”

If you are rolling your eyes, repeating the above sentence and getting ready to close this blog post, you my friend are part of the problem and are the one who most certainly NEEDS to read this piece.

If you don’t feel like reading this blog, at least check out this video before you go.

I recently took a short overnight trip to Atlantic City with a friend of mine.  We had just finished a very taxing event and needed a little girl time to unwind.  We got all dolled up (because sometimes, a girl just wants to feel pretty) and the attention was unending.

I know what you’re thinking, “If you don’t want the attention, why get all dressed up?”  Look, it’s not about wanting or not wanting attention.  Attention is nice and most people feel good about themselves when receiving positive attention.  The type of attention is what is key here.

If you are staring at me up and down, over and over with that look in your eye and then proceed to say something akin to “Damn, baby” or “I’d tap that” or “Where you goin’, baby girl?  I’ll walk with you“- I don’t feel safe.  This is the BAD kind of attention.  Do you want to know why this kind of talk is so troublesome?  We don’t know if you’re serious or not.  Maybe to you it’s just a joke with your buddies, but to us, there is a possible rapist in our midst.  Worse yet, for those of us who have already been harassed or molested in the past, this is a very real trigger that we may be in danger again.

I have been molested on numerous occasions, in very public places.  Almost every major city that I have visited has given me grief in this sense.  Catcalling always brings these memories back:

  • In New York City, I’ve had a man grab me by the wrist, refusing to let me go until I gave him my number.  (Luckily, a friend noticed that I wasn’t by her side and came back to pry my arm from his painful grip).
  •  In Washington DC, a man walked up to me at a bar and cupped my ass.  He stayed there like that, holding my ass in both hands for a few seconds with me sandwiched between him and a couch until I could push my way out of the situation.
  •  In Atlantic City, while with my then boyfriend for his birthday, a man walked by with a group of guy friends and slapped my ass.  I’m sure that they found it hilarious.
  •  In New Brunswick, while riding a crowded bus on the way to a football game (I cannot, for the life of me, remember why I was going to a football game.  Don’t ask.) I was grabbed yet again.  It was so crowded that many of us were standing, sardines in a can pressed up against one another.  I suppose you could argue that the man with his hand on my ass just had no where else to turn.  However, did he need to cup and squeeze as well?  What’s your logic on that one?
  •  In Rome (Italy, not Georgia) my group stopped at a drag club after a fun bar crawl.  The club was astonishingly crowded but that was still no excuse for some man to come up behind me, pressing himself to my backside while cupping both of my breasts.  BREASTS!  I’ve had my ass grabbed a million times but this was a first for me.  And just in case you’d like to blame it on Italian culture, try again.  His thick Brooklyn accent would throw a wrench in that case real quick.
  •  However, the worst yet was the first date I went on with an acquaintance who felt it appropriate to shove his hand down my pants with no prompting from me.  I very quickly moved his hand and that date was OVER.

Welcome to our America, ladies and gentlemen.  We allow this.  WE. ALLOW. THIS.  This is a common occurrence.  It happens, daily, to millions of women across the country.  Are there far worse things happening in third world countries?  Genital mutilation, child brides, legal rape- yes, there are worse things in the world, but shame on you if that makes you feel any better about the way women are treated in OUR country.

Stand up for your sisters, your mothers, your daughters, your friends.  Do not catcall, do not laugh when your friends catcall, do not grab ass.  It’s not funny.  It’s not cute.  It’s not okay.

If I’ve made you feel uncomfortable in any way- Good.  Start talking about it.  Start doing something about it.  Future generations must be taught to treat women equally.

For the men reading, put yourself in our shoes for just one day.  Imagine for just one moment that you are walking down a crowded street, happily minding your own business when a man walks by and grabs you by the balls and tells you what “hot stuff” you are.

Does it still sound like a compliment?

Who’s that Girl?

As I’ve mentioned in prior posts, I am in the relatively recent stages of a breakup and since I can’t gorge on ice cream and donuts (damn you lactose and gluten, you spoil all the fun!), I have instead become incredibly introspective.

Well, I haven’t become incredibly introspective, I’m always introspective.  Rather now I am silly enough to share my inner thoughts with you and the entirety of the inter webs.  Maybe some of you can relate to today’s blog.  Have you ever looked back on a previous relationship and asked yourself, who was that girl? (And I’m talking to the ladies right now, not the gentlemen envisioning their crazy exes!)

I have.  Every time.

I have become one of those women that I always said I would never be.  I am that woman who completely loses sight of herself in a relationship.  I become a version of myself, of which, quite frankly, I am not very fond.

I blame no one but myself for this misstep.  I’m well intentioned, I swear.  I try very hard to work on “the relationship” so that the two of us can be happy but in doing so, I tend to forget about the things that make me happy.  I am so focused on compromising that I cease to actually compromise and I give up on my own pursuits simply to spend time with my partner.  Again, the onus falls on me.  That is a choice that I make, repeatedly.

Not to get all mushy but (we’re gonna get mushy for a second), I just want to spend time with my boyfriend, so.. I make sacrifices that I shouldn’t.  Not one of my exes ever forced me to give up anything.  Not one of them.  And yet, somehow, I’ve lost sight of myself every time.  It’s just silly little things like choosing to go  to dinner with him instead of blogging or watching a movie instead of writing one.  I could have easily said “No babe, I have work to do.”  Instead I said “Sure, let’s hang out.”

It doesn’t sound like a terrible thing, right?  Except it is.  I continually forgot to take care of myself and in doing so, got really cranky.  I wasn’t doing what I loved and I would take it out on others.  That is not even close to fair- to anyone involved in that scenario.

This blog isn’t about a breakup though, nor is it about a relationship.  It’s about reclaiming that woman who I know is in there somewhere.  I am a passionate woman, lover of the arts, lover of humanity, a writer, an actress, a model, and a total goof.  I mean, I think by now you can see the quirkiness in my writing (trust me, it only gets weirder in person).  One day, I would like to figure out how to stay that person while in a relationship.  I’m positive that it begins with taking time to focus on myself.

I know that I am not the only one who has trouble with this balancing act.  I am quite willing to take advice so that I can be prepared for the next go-round.  Ready? Set. Go!

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